4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
