why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
