Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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