You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
