i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize