Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Randomize
