She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
