Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
