FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
