I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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