Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Banned from zoo.
Again?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
