So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
