he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Randomize
