If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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