My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
