i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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