Only a mothe r could love this liver
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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