I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
