that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
