the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
