PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
