i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
