i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
