So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
