Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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