bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
