True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
