you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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