I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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