u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
