Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
