Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
