We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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