i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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