Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
