Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
