you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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