Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
