Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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