why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
