I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
