I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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