i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
True college students do jello shots in the library
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