eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
