Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
