i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
