So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I wish you could order shots online.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
