if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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