That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
