I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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